Tuesday, June 2, 2009
...preparing to move.
Preparing to move has a lot of moving parts (no pun intended). The packing, address changes, job searches, moving to a new home, leaving friends behind, etc. Most of the parts are practicals. But there are equally as important abstract thoughts. One of these is idea that we have dreamt of moving for sometime and now that the dream is becoming reality, it is a little scary and emotional.
We all have dreams. I'm not talking about the crazy scenes that develop as we sleep. Like the one I had the other night where I was being chased by The Matrix's Mr. Smith-like security guards as well as a dinosaur/insect creature. Discovering how to kill the security guard was pretty awesome. That was not the kind of dream I'm talking about. I'm talking about the kind of dreams where you stare out a window and think to yourself, "I wonder what life would be like if..." or "I have always wanted to...". Vision-casting dreams. It is fun to dream. But actually acting on those dreams is very scary and exciting at the same time. It always takes a risk to carry out a dream. You see, we have a dream of living near family and doing youth ministry in my hometown. For two years this dream has been stirring in our hearts and for the entire two years I have fought the fear that this dream is one I conjured up instead of being directed from God. I believe God gives us dreams that are promptings of certain things He wants us to do. How He wants to use us. At the same time, if we are running from His will, our minds will draft up plans that are not necessarily what God wants us to do. So, for two years I have been trying to decipher whether or not the dream is mine or His. However, I never thought to wonder if a dream can be both...
The Bible says that God will sometimes give us the desire of our heart. In our case, I think our dream to move is both the desire of our heart and the path on which God wants us to be. The Bible also says that God speaks to us in many ways. One such way is a "still, small voice". I have never been "whispered" to more than in these last two years. He has been very quick to hush a little encouragement that we are going the right direction. I have also never been "yelled at" more than I have during this season. The loud voices say "Stay where you are! You are crazy! You are running away! You won't have any friends if you move! Your kids will be ruined! You wife will be attacked! You will go broke! You are rebelling against God!" Do any of these voices sound familiar? Day in and day out this is what I have been hearing. But I am thankful that the Word of God tells us how He speaks to his kids and it is NEVER with a fear-laced shout. So, when I talk about preparing to move, the most preparation has been shuffling thoughts around in my head while tilling the soil in my heart. But I will tell you this: I have learned more from going through this fire than 100 sermons could teach me. The sorting out of the origin of this dream to move is just one of many lessons.
In case you were wondering, the way to kill the security guards in my night time dream was to find the king dude, who was a lot bigger than the others, and stick a grenade on his neck. That move blew his head off...