Saturday, December 5, 2009
Fightin' Crime and Takin' Names
It was a Tuesday. I was on the beat. It'd been slow, quiet...a little too quiet. Just then I got a call. She was down. Some punk had stolen her iPhone right our of her shopping cart (the worst kind of phone theft). These crimes rarely end well. The woman was hopeless, ashamed. This was going to be a long day...
My first instinct came. I drew my Blackberry, dialed the number and prepared to fight with a barrage of threats. He'd never know what hit him. But he was crafty. No answer. Again I dialed. Nothing. Again. Only beeps. I was dealing with a professional but my next move isn't learned in a classroom: the threat-text.
"Target has cameras all throughout the store." My fingers danced across the keyboard. "You are now a criminal." The hard truth flowed effortlessly. "You will be caught." I could almost see the panic in his eyes. But there is grace, even for criminals. "Turn the phone in to customer service to avoid prosecution."
Did he feel the blows of the threat-text? Did he have an enlightened moment? Was his heart softened in the Christmas season? We'll never know. But one thing's for sure: the lady was reunited with her iPhone.
Crime doesn't pay.