Sunday, January 8, 2012

You know what sucks/stinks?  Church shopping.  Seriously.  Uggh.

Churches, just FYI - If you want ME to like your church/become a member/begin tithing to you, I would love the following things:

*I want to know where my children are going and who they will be with and I will not be sending them off with strangers who don't give me any information about the whereabouts of my children EVER.  Background checks to work in kid's rooms are "duh" in my book.

*I would love to be able to see how to get to my seat and not wait for my eyes to adjust to "pitched blackness" just to find a place to sit down.

*NO FOG MACHINES, whatsoever.  No matter what.  You know what I have NEVER, ever thought?  "You know what would make this worship set better?  FOG."  Nope, never thought that.

Forever and ever, amen.


  1. oh my gosh, hilarious...and so true! :) i especially wouldn't want to send our children off into that pitch black fogginess with strangers...

  2. And she's back, folks.
    The other thing that I've never wanted in a church is strobe lights. I'd like those reserved for NKTOB concerts.

  3. I fully identify with this post and I agree wholeheartedly. -Crystal C

  4. Yeah... we don't have any of those problems at my church :) lol! Fog machines? That blows my mind! Also, the darkness. What's that about?

  5. So agree. I remember seeing a mini strobe light/sax solo (aka Kenny G) and had to grip my seat through the rest. And once what seemed like a benign little video clip turned out to be an ad for some Christian company. Seriously. In the middle of the service. Who knew finding a church would be so hard. Hope you find what you need soon!

    1. Sax solos may have to be added to my list. ;-)